Hello My Friend-
This newsletter has been in my head for a LONG time. I have been nervous to actually write it out at the risk of offending people and of sharing some of my personal experiences.
Here it goes….
When I was 15 my mom took me to Weight Watchers. I was already chronic dieter at this point and my mom thought Weight Watchers would be the perfect place to teach me how to eat healthy. I was excited.
I felt like my mom was giving me permission to diet and I would finally learn how to do it right.
I was just about 5 feet tall and when I stepped on the scale weighed in at 101 pounds. They quickly enrolled me in the program.
In my mind that was validation that the program leader thought I needed to lose weight too.
I started the program eager and excited. I followed the rules and started to lose a few pounds.
I quickly got bored with the rules and discovered ways to get around them.
My favorite was to starve myself a day before weigh in and then binge like crazy soon after the meeting. Playing games with the scale was easy and fun and gave me a sense of power.
My mom had no idea. Her plan to send me to Weight Watchers to learn to be a healthy eater had turned into a big failure.
I didn’t care at the time. I just wanted to lose weight. When I stopped losing weight on the program I became more obsessed with the number on the scale and eventually fell into a very dangerous eating disorder. I know this is not Weight Watcher’s fault, this was my own personal problem. However, I wish someone would have said, “honey- you are at the perfect weight for your body and we cannot enroll you in the program.”
In my 20’s I returned to Weight Watchers. After years of gaining weight, failed dieting, bingeing and purging, I thought Weight Watchers would help me break free from my food obsession. I started out “being good”, counting my points. tracking my exercise, weighing my food, and losing some weight. I learned that I could be “in control” as long as I counted my points.
The problem was I HATED counting points…
I learned to distrust my body. I did not pay attention to my hunger. I ate my points and lost weight.
I quickly got bored. I started playing more games. I chose to eat crap (mochas, cookies, french fries) over real food.
It seemed like it didn’t matter as long as I stayed in my points range. I exercised more to earn extra points for more junk food. I still had no idea how to eat healthy- I just wanted to lose my stomach rolls and big butt. Eventually I stopped counting points and it was no longer fun to go Weight Watchers since my scale games were no longer working out.
I returned to Weight Watchers again after the birth of my first child. I figured I am a mom now….a real grown up and I can do it right this time. This time I reached “Lifetime” status. Hooray- now I get to be a Weight Watcher for life. This was quickly follow by “Yuck- I have to watch my weight for life.”….that sounds pretty sucky to me.
Again I started sabotaging myself with more food games…
So what did I learn from Weight Watchers?
Do not take your child to Weight Watchers thinking it will help them “eat healthy”.
Counting points, weighing your food and obsessing over portion control teaches you to distrust your body. It is impossible to develop a healthy relationship with food and your body if you cannot tune into your bodies messages.
Allowing the number on the scale to impact your mood messes with your overall feeling of self worth. When I saw a “good” number I was more likely to overeat as a reward for “being good”. When I saw a “bad” number I would beat myself up and continue to hate on my body which caused me to gain more weight. Too much body hatred causes STRESS and stress is linked to weight gain.
It is easier to lose weight than keep it off. I know this is true with any diet mindset.
Ask for your salad dressing on the side. This is one of the good lessons that I still use today.
I know many women who love Weight Watchers. If it works for you and you are happy with it that is great. However, if you are like me and have tried it multiple times and feel like a failure, please know you are not alone and there are other options.
People often ask me about calorie counting and portion control. I am happy to say I no longer obsess over these things.
I have learned how to trust my body, listen to my hunger and enjoy food without guilt. I never count calories or weigh my food.
If you are looking for freedom from dieting and food obsession and would like support on this journey, I am opening up two spaces for personal one-on-one coaching.
I am passionate about empowering women to break free from food jail.
Reply to this email and I will be happy to set up a complimentary “Befriend Your Body Breakthough Session” so you can see if Health Coaching is right for you.
I am only offering a limited number of spots so if this resonates with you reach out as soon as possible.
With love and support- Michelle
